Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

Just a picture of me out doing the Lord's work . . .

At the time this picture was taken, I was telling this young lady that there were actually 4 chapters of JOHN in the bible and she was flirting back with me and that was kind of why I was getting a big head. I just didn't realize it would show up in the picture.

* for the record . . . no way I cropped this photo. this, ladies and gentlemen was done by one of your Bishops which subsequently came into my possession. I thought Bishops were busy individuals. Apparently I was mistaken . . . although very clever nonetheless . . .

Wise Tara

Tara,

You are wise telling me the story how the "friends" treated you poorly as well. That made me feel better about myself because at least now I know it wasn't only me they were treating so poorly.

Mindy and Steven are actually known as quite festive Halloween party goers because every year they dress up. Although it is the same costume every year:

"Hey they kind of look like little sheeps." "Yeah, yeah they do look like a little ram and a little ewe." "Well but wait, wait look at that part where the zipper does not come all the way up." "It kind of looks like wolf fur." "Yeah and those sheep have some awfully long fangs for sheep." "I don't know . . . they look like nice cute little sheep but I am afraid they are just wolves in sheep's clothing and when you get up closer they will bite our heads off."

signed

- everyone who encounters them on Halloween . . . and every other day of the year

Tara, you must tell me more about this WAED that your brother, SIL and Micks partaketh of in RR. Maybe that is the key to get me to move there or at the very least become Mormon.

;)

Poll - Is this the definition of a "friend"?

I am taking a poll. I will tell you a story and then I want you to tell us whether the individuals in that story would be classified as "friends" or as "not so much friends."

We have these "friends." You may know who I am referring to since they are the only reason I exist in this Mormon blogging world. OK, OK, I will try to post a picture to drive my point home.

"So cute, don't they look friendly?" OK, good. I did it. Incidentally, I think it is somewhat funny that Mindy looks like a glamorous super model yet she put Steven's big head in front of her for this picture. Isn't her blond hair pretty? JUST KIDDING! We like the dark, too. I digress. Now, I don't want you to answer my question based on your possible relationship with these people. I want you to base it completely on my story. They may look like friends but I am here to tell you, wolves in sheep's clothing, wolves . . . in . . . sheep's . . . clothing.

These peoples were friends, then they moved and became "friends," I am bitter, we have been over this, I am sure it is well documented, but just know that that is part of the background. Well these peoples decided to make a trans continental journey for Christmas. A one way car trip I would estimate, give or take, 1 million miles. Good, great, grand. Fun family trip, get to go to a cool place, see some other friends, etc. Good time, good Christmas, whatever, not the point.

Well, I recently learned that their trans continental travels would take them a VERY short distance from my home. I mean, I could take their tires out with a short ranged sniper rifle from my home. That is how close they were passing by.

Now, just so no one has to make any assumptions, my wife and I have an apartment with TWO bathrooms that are clean. We have a kitchen table. We even have food. Our apartment may be small, but we can accommodate a small Mormon army for a short amount of time.

Back to the story. We have gone to see these "friends" at least three times and spent the weekend with them since their move. They have "said" that they want to come to H* to see all of their old friends (maybe I assumed too much that that included me). They even thought we could watch their kids and they could do their temple recommends or recommands (whatever, you know what they are). Blah, blah, blah "we will come see you". well, well, well. . . .

Well . . . you guessed it. Puttt, puttttt, putttttt . . . THEY DROVE RIGHT ON BY. Are you KIDDING me?!? ARE YOU K I D D I N G ME?!? (Make sure you re-read the last sentence putting substantial emphasis on "kidding"). OK, continue. They live far away. Their trans continental journey takes them within a bb gun's range of my home, and they don't stop. Technically, we didn't even talk to them until they were past us.

Well, John, maybe you are over exaggerating. "You always do." Maybe you are making too much of this. "You always do." Maybe the exact reason that you are calling them out in this post is the reason they didn't want to stop or tell you they could see what you were wearing when they drove by . . . but did not stop.

You might be right. There are some good reasons why they wouldn't stop. Stopping would add time to an already long journey. They are off to a good start, the kids are behaving, they are making good time. Perhaps the sole bridge from Texas to Louisiana is being closed in a few hours for Christmas and they won't be able to reach their destination. Maybe they are the one family in America who can travel with three small children and NEVER need to stop. NEVER need to use the restroom (one of them does wear diapers . . . Steven, (ya know like the crazy astronaut lady)). Maybe they wanted to stop but didn't want to put up with ME. Maybe they wanted to stop but knew when they had to get back on the road, I would be mad that they are leaving so soon. Incidentally, I walk the earth in fear everyday that the Lord will strike me down because I want to spend time with people I love!!! GOOD GRIEF! Maybe I am not as cool as I think I am. All of this to say, you are right. There are some good reasons why they might not have stopped.

But my fellow bloggers, as Paul Harvey (the late???? not real sure) would say, "Now the rest of the story."

These "friends" stopped at a park/truck stop/something to eat their packed lunch a MERE 30 MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE. ARE YOU K I D D I N G ME!?! (Same rules apply to this previous sentence as the rule above). At this truck stop, the restrooms were so bad that according to unpublished reports, the men had been using the women's restroom. Can we all get a nice visual of what that was like or should I elaborate? Picture sweet little Emmy in her ballerina costume leaping over puddles of urine in her ballerina slippers to get to her throne . . . but she is only as graceful as Mindy (see Mindy's injured hand playing volleyball). What type of individuals typically use these restrooms on a daily basis? I think you get my point.

So, I guess in my "friend's" planning they said, "Hey, H* would be a good spot to stop, eat lunch, and use the bathroom, take a break. Maybe we would could see John and Elizabeth." But no. You know what they thought was a better idea. "Hey, I know, lets not stop at John and Elizabeth's. Lets drive 30 minutes past and stop at Nasty Truck Stops-R-Us and eat lunch and take a bathroom break. That way we don't have to deal with John and we will make better time."

Boy I tell you what. Makes me feel like my mother did a poor job of teaching me what the definition of a friend is. I mean when this type of thing happens, it makes me question the meaning of life. I have been rejected many times. I have been rejected by many women, many opportunities, many things . . . but this has to be the penultimate. It may be the ultimate rejection, but if not, it certainly has to be the penultimate.

Well this post is getting on in years so I should wrap it up. Basically, my Christmas is ruined. But don't let that fact effect your choice of whether these are "friends" or "not so much friends". Feel free to add comments but at least post 1) "friends" or 2) "not so much friends".

Based on the results of this poll, we may be looking for a new Mormon family to adopt. Please apply at your local Ward this Sunday.

I sure hope they made that closing bridge across the Sabine river or those kids will never forget the Christmas spent on the swamp with the 'gators.

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

Holiday Happiness/Blogging Sadness

Well, it appears the holiday season is in full swing. The level of blogging has slowed to a dull trickle. Now certainly, I am not much help because as everyone likes to point out, I haven't blogged very much. But as I have said, I am a blog reader, not a blog blogger.

As I have checked blogs, the amount of time between posts becomes greater. I must chalk this up to the holiday season. People are busier and therefore have less time to blog. People are also happier so therefore, in a way, they have less of a need to blog (hmmm . . . there is a blog topic). They check their friends blogs less and also have less time to write. This makes me sad. I enjoy reading others blogs and getting a feel for what is going on in their life (even though I don't know some (most) people). Its kind of like legal and socially acceptable stalking, but I digress (please don't remove me from your approved reader list :))

Due to the lack of time people have to check blogs and the fact people have probably stopped checking my blog because I haven't posted in months, I fear many won't get my message. But alas:

To all you lovely ladies . . . and Brian . . . o.k., you got me . . . To all you lovely ladies . . . who do happen upon my blog, I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and even though I love the holiday season, may the post holiday blues insight the blogging (and therefore revealing) madness!

That's what she said

"That's what she said."




(Happy Thanksgiving everyone!)

Brian said . . .

Brian said . . .

"Here's my opinion: It isn't that big of an issue. There is bigger stuff like serving, sacrificing, tithing, temples, scripture study, prayer, ward basketball, etc. I don't drink those drinks but I don't really stop and think about it when someone else does. Unless it is Steven because his addiction affects us all. I don't drink them but it isn't something I think about that often.John, start worrying about the Book of Mormon. That's the "big deal" with this whole thing.Steven should stop drinking his beverages because of the prison he has cast himself into. Eternal caffeinated prison. John, you have much, much more pressing and important things to consider.But, good, juicy question anyhow.You should post more often than every month. Yours are pretty good."

OOOHHHHHHH RRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Brian, here is the reason that the Book of Mormon isn't that big of a deal. I could read the Book of Mormon everyday and still not understand it. Neither do most Mormons (meaning understanding everything). That is why ya'll are encouraged to read daily, you have teachings from it every Sunday, family home evenings regarding same every Monday, pray about it, etc. You forget things you have read and that is one reason you keep reading "the" word. Read, read, read, further understand, further understand, further understand, read, read, read, still don't know some/most answers, on and on and on . . . .

However, I can walk into a Priesthood meeting wearing a bright colored red shirt drinking a Dr Pepper and smoking a stogie. And you KNOW some members are saying "whoa their Charlie." Becoming Mormon is not just joining the church. It is joining a culture. I am not quite sure what the first 4 letters of the last word of that last sentence mean exactly. J/K.

So I ask myself, why is everyone wearing white shirts in Priesthood meeting? Oh, o.k. that makes sense but if that is the case why do you cover that up with a big fat dark coat? Why don't you wear white pants? Why do you wear a brightly colored tie. Shouldn't you wear white ALL of the time? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I WANT TO KNOW THE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't grow up in a family where the family taught Mormon doctrine since the first breath. I don't take things for granted. I don't want to walk into a congregation and just start doing what everyone else is doing. That makes NO sense. If I am in Sacrament meeting and everyone gets up and starts jumping off a cliff am I suppose to tell myself, "well, they must know what they are doing and why. Hope the landing is soft."

One problem is that outsiders are being invited to join a clique to come extent. Yes most Mormons are inviting and want you to feel comfortable and are not judgmental and go out of their way to make feel welcomed. But what most current and long standing/practicing Mormons can't grasp is how an outsider who is coming to the church feels. You can't really ever know either. Because it has been so long since you joined OR you have been a member your whole life.

Some (most) may think I am being anal about the whole thing (and are free to comment about same) but all of this bothers me. Then some will say "it is open to your interpretation, pray about it, and you will find an answer." Well what if I feel (pray about it, don't get an answer, but this is what I am going with (truly trying to find an answer)) and I don't think drinking alcohol or cussing is bad. Well then the powers that be will say, actually John that part is not open to interpretation. We think X. O.k., I give up. What is open to interpretation and what is not. WHERE ARE THE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just read the BOM. There are no list of rules so right off the bat I am getting no answers from reading the BOM :). Mormons see their lives as a religion. Outsiders possibly see it as a culture. If I can't understand the religion then maybe I can try to understand the culture.

Read the BOM. Well what if I can't read. I can't become Mormon. THERE ARE TOO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(now do you understand why texas bro mick has not been very successful :). It is not for his/ their lack of trying!)

signed,

confused in the space city

Caffeine and LDS - "an awakening"

So I am taking an unofficial poll. It is unofficial because I can't design that thing where you vote so you have to respond by commenting. Don't be afraid of being wrong because my point is that people don't know.

Here is the question:

What is "the" Church's (LDS) position on caffieinated beverages?

My understanding is that at one time there should be not "hot" beverages. But what if it is iced tea, etc.

Anyway, the reason I ask is because when I dated a Mormon in high school it was explained to me by her and friends of the church that caffeine was pretty much on par with alcohol and smoking. I mean some people did drink caffeinated beverages but it was kind of a no no.

When I recently saw a Mormon slapping down caffeine drinks like it was going out of style, apparently I challenged his faith by my perceived misinformation and his wife thought I was chastising him.

So, what is your opinion of "the" Church's opinion on caffeinated beverages? Thanks.