Thursday, August 2, 2007

Dilemma of Sorts - or in someone's shorts

What would you do . . . if anything?

First, I would like to thank you for your encouraging comments. It is difficult to come up with topics and I am amazed that most of you come up with something on a daily basis. After you read this, most of you will wish I continued to think of a topic.

Here is my dilemma (which happens to be a difficult word for me to spell - thank you Blogger spell check):

I work for a female attorney who is approximately mid 50s. There is also a female paralegal who is late 30s. Then there is myself. That is everyone who is in our office. (It would be interesting to know how you think this story is going to go compared to what my story actually is). I enjoy working with both of them and enjoy my job. Here is thing.

One day my boss comes in to our room to look at a file. Her back is toward me and I am just working on something on my computer. The paralegal who I share a room/office with was not in the room. While my boss is standing there I hear a noise from . . . you know where. There is no mistaking what it was. My boss did not acknowledge the noise nor did she act like it even happened. Either (1) she really did not know she dealt it, or (2) she is a great actress. I just kept working and was dying inside but was also thinking no big deal, probably happens to everyone. Well, this has happened several times and . . . 60% of the time, they smell. I am not talking smell like, hmmm there is a slight tinge of something different in the air. I am talking smell like, oh my gosh, I should leave the room so I don't loose any brain cells. Not once has she said excuse me, turned red, walked quickly out of the room, nothing. A couple of times the paralegal has showered the room in Oust spray to smother the smell knowing full well that our boss would walk back in the room. There is probably nothing like ripping one and then walking back in the room that someone has febreezed because of you. I would think that would be quite embarrassing.

Whenever it happens with both myself and the paralegal in the room, we can not look at each other because we would die laughing and then my boss would know or would ask, "what is so funny?" I have literally had to wipe away tears because I am trying not to laugh. I don't want to embarrass her but it is soooo awkward. I mean, these are noises that anyone with average hearing would notice. There are of course the silent but quite deadlies too.

Here is my question. I should probably do one of those polls where people could vote but I am not smart enough to figure that out.
Do you think:
  1. She doesn't realize she is doing it;
  2. She thinks she is being sneaky and only she can hear AND smell it;
  3. Knows she is doing it but thinks this is how everyone acts; or
  4. Knows she is doing it, knows it is improper, but doesn't give a ripper (pun intended).
Remember, this is an individual who most people would consider a lady and we are in the workplace. Has "The Office" done a show about this yet? Anyway, I just need to be sure that the way I was raised was similar to the average person where 1) you try not to do that in public and 2) if it does happen, you apologize and you are thoroughly embarrassed.

This is the kind of post where it is good that I do not know how to attach pictures because the picture I might find would probably be inappropriate.

I think I might try to make a quilt now and have someone take a picture of it and create a new post.


Jennifer said...

The best laugh I've had in days!!! Thanks! Have you considered emailing her the link to your blog?!? Good luck...oh and maybe you want to consider buying a nose plug, the one swimmers use!

Jessi said...

Shouldn't there be some kind of company policy against that sort of thing?? You have a RIGHT to breathe untainted air!!

(Of course you can be grateful you don't have my job. Some of the people I work with need help wiping their own bums...)

LeahNicole said...

your link to my blog is wrong :-(. and yes you grew up least in THAT aspect. I think the cow pic is-- oh so fitting.

Michelle Pyne said...

My answer would be 5. She knows, she's embarassed, so embarassed she doesn't say anything. Next time you have a similar experience, quickly walk out of the room with co-worker age 35-ish, go somewhere private and laugh yourselves silly!

Can't wait to see that quilt!

John said...


At least those bums are probably cute bums . . . except for the whole wiping thing.

Shana said...

LOL!! Now that was a good one! I think she KNOWS she is doing it, but wants to torture you because she thinks you DESERVE IT!!! Hey, maybe it is really YOU doing it, but you don't know it! ;) Thanks for the laugh. .... and get working on that quilt of yours!

Audra said...

Oh, John. That sounds awful. It does sound like torture. What can you do? You could almost be on the show Dirty Jobs! Good luck with that!

Anonymous said...

My vote is:
6. She knows she's doing it, knows it's improper, but can't help it and hopes YOU don't give a ripper!

Mindy said...

I'm going with #2, which allows you to do something even fouler in her rarely-used drawer and see if she likes smelling it.

You've seen that OFFICE episode, right?

John said...

No, I have not seen the Office episode.

Jodie Haney said...

I like Michelle's answer...#5. Hate it for you!

Brian said...

I know your boss knows what she's doing. And, I admire her for it. To live with that kind of freedom must be wonderful. Do what I want and let people spray Febreeze on any parts of my life they want to. Ahh...freedom!

BTW, Steven lives like that. When he lived with us years ago, we couldn't go into his room without breathing through and hankerchief and crawling on all fours (heat rises). It was breathtaking (in the bad way).